The following is an interview I participated in on IdeaMarketers.com for National Recovery Month.

September is National Recovery Month. A month dedicated to the message that recovery from alcohol or drug abuse is possible. There are many people who live with the secret that they have an alcoholic in their family. These same people struggle with questions on what they can do to help their partner and family.

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Jackie asked me how many drinks could her husband have in a day before she should worry. She says he drinks three or four beers in the evening on work nights and a lot more on weekends when he doesn't have to go to work the next day. She thinks he may be a functioning alcoholic.

Kevin worries that his wife's three or four glasses of wine in the evening could be the beginning of alcoholism. Alcoholism runs in her family. 

Both Jackie and Kevin were quite surprised to find their partners' consumption was well above what are considered low-risk drinking levels…

More on How Much Alcohol Is Too Much? The Facts Might Surprise You

Being married to a functioning alcoholic is a big problem. Tens of thousands of families in North America alone are struggling with the issue.

For a minority of people social drinking can gradually deteriorate into alcohol abuse and eventually into alcohol dependence. The drinking could have started in a lot of different ways, but that's not what's important. What is important is that the drinking became a habit and the habit became alcohol dependence or alcoholism. It matters not a hoot whether the alcohol is in the form of beer, wine or hard liquor.

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Dr. Neill Neill

Part Three of the Functioning Alcoholic

There is a third critical factor to bear in mind when questioning the functioning of a so-called "functioning alcoholic." The first factor to consider was whether the alcoholic is functioning generally in life, or just in one aspect of life, like his job. The second factor was whether the alcoholic in achieving his potential and pursuing his dreams, not just getting by.

The third factor has to with how long the "functioning," at whatever level, can last in the presence of alcoholism.

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Dr. Neill Neill

Part Two of The Functioning Alcoholic

In The Functioning Alcoholic: Part One I argued that doing one’s job is not one’s only function in life. For the alcoholic to consider himself to be "functioning" he has to function in various areas of life, not just on the job.

Abandoned Dreams and Underachievement

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Dr. Neill Neill

Mary (alias) recently took the Alcoholism Test and then emailed me. (She didn't leave a public comment because she wanted her communication to be confidential.)

Although a few details are changed or omitted to protect Mary's privacy, she began with

"I was researching functional alcoholism and came across your site. I took the Alcoholism Test to determine if my husband would be considered a functioning alcoholic. I have not yet spoken with anyone about this, but just researched Al-Anon and plan on attending a meeting…"

Mary goes on to make the following points:

• Married for 19 years.
• Husband a drinker, mostly drinking alone.
• He has been drinking more during the last 5-6 years (now more than two liters/week of hard liquor.)
• He is not abusive and does not miss work.
• He seems to have trouble remembering.
• He just seems out of it at night…

More on Married to a Functioning Alcoholic? Getting Help

Dr. Neill Neill
 

Is Your Marriage Partner a Functioning Alcoholic?

There are many tests for alcoholism on the internet, so why do we need another one? The simple answer is that most of them aren't very practical.

Most of the tests for alcoholism are "self-tests" and are therefore aimed at someone who is wondering, "Do I have an alcohol problem?" This may be the wrong person most of the time. Serious problem drinkers probably won't take the test, because they don't want to have their suspicions confirmed. The typical functioning alcoholic isn't interested in questioning his alcohol abuse. And if the signs of alcoholism are more advanced, no test is necessary to recognize the alcoholism.

The Alcoholism Test on this site is designed for anyone who thinks their partner has a drinking problem and perhaps suspects the drinking has progressed to alcoholism.

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Dr. Neill Neill

Anyone who abuses alcohol long enough or heavily enough eventually will have problems with memory. The functioning alcoholic will have memory problems. His memory problems are simply less severe than those of the skid-row alcoholic.

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We normally associate alcoholism with increased tolerance to alcohol. Alcoholics often are able to drink a great deal before the usual symptoms of intoxication kick in — slurred speech, falling asleep, getting loud, poor balance, and poor judgment which could lead to and accident or a DUI charge.

However, there are exceptions. Some functioning alcoholics do indeed show signs of intoxication with as little as a single drink. There are at least two different reasons why this might happen.

More on Can a Functioning Alcoholic Be Affected by One Drink?

Dr. Neill Neill

Readers repeatedly ask me questions about their relationships with the functioning alcoholics in their lives. Today I will look at the case of the woman who is not yet living with her boyfriend, but wants to. She is concerned, however, about his alcohol consumption. It usually goes something like this:

"I've been wondering if my boyfriend has a drinking problem. He says he's a functioning alcoholic, with the stress on "functioning." I like the odd drink myself, but I can take it or leave it. We love each other and want to live together. Should I move in with him?" Signed, 29 and single

Well, 29 and single, it's good that you are acknowledging right up front that there could be a problem. You show a healthy level of self esteem and confidence.

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