Dr. Neill Neill
People addicted to alcohol drink compulsively and often claim to have an addictive personality. It is a convenient myth.
I heard of a dentist who approached his dental work with compulsive attention to detail. His crowns had to fit perfectly. He was fanatical about bite adjustment and his workspace cleanliness was impeccable—all things I like to see in a dentist, because I do not like pain… or recalls.
Unfortunately, when his compulsive cleanliness extended to his front office and the waiting room, he could not keep his staff. His marriages didn’t last, because he imposed his compulsive orderliness on his family.
More on An “Addictive Personality”- The Alcoholic’s Convenient Myth
Dr. Neill Neill
Pop psychology has worked its way into our culture. If a man makes a mistake, its OK to blame it on something he ate or an addiction he has. Has pop psychology made it so people no longer have to accept responsibility for their own actions? Is pop psychology making us a society of victims?
More on Moral Evasion through Pop Psychology
Tags: addiction, alcohol, alcohol blackout, alcoholic, alcoholism, cultural values, functioning alcoholic, moral evasion, moral values, pop psychology, psychology, victims
Filed under Blog by Dr. Neill Neill
Dr. Neill Neill will be interviewed by Kevin Midbo of People first Radio tomorrow noon, Pacific time. The interview will be about his new book on alcoholism, relationship survival and his own experiece with alcoholism.
Announcement from PEOPLE FIRST RADIO:
"Join us for the live broadcast of People First Radio
on CHLY 101.7 FM or listen online. Thursdays at noon.
The ‘Functioning Alcoholic’:
Relationship Survival"
Dr. neill Neill, a Vancouver Island-based registered psychologist, has written a book steeped in his own personal experience–and aimed at women who find themselves living with a "functioning alcoholic." Alcohol and alcoholism–cunning, baffling, powerful–are not just individual issues…the entire family is affected.
Neill Neill joins us to talk about his new book, his own experience as an alcoholic, and the issues associated with alcoholism and relationships.
RELATED:
To join us for the program at 12 noon Pacific time, locally dial 101.7 FM or from anywhere go to
http://chly.ca. Part way through the program Kevin will announce a call-in number if you have any questions.
Neill
The following is an interview I participated in on IdeaMarketers.com for National Recovery Month.
September is National Recovery Month. A month dedicated to the message that recovery from alcohol or drug abuse is possible. There are many people who live with the secret that they have an alcoholic in their family. These same people struggle with questions on what they can do to help their partner and family.
In recognition of National Recovery Month, Dr. Neill Neill has submitted his responses to common questions partners may have in regard to an alcohol problem in their family. Dr. Neill Neill is an
alcoholism expert. He is a psychologist, columnist and author, who maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice in Qualicum Beach, BC, Canada. He is consulting psychologist to a private addiction rehab facility for men. A significant part of Dr. Neill’s practice is with individuals and families touched by alcohol and drug abuse.
Question: You use the term "functioning alcoholic." What does that term mean, and how does a "functioning alcoholic" differ from an "alcoholic?"
More on National Recovery Month: Is There Help for My Alcoholic Partner?
Jackie asked me how many drinks could her husband have in a day before she should worry. She says he drinks three or four beers in the evening on work nights and a lot more on weekends when he doesn’t have to go to work the next day. She thinks he may be a functioning alcoholic.
Kevin worries that his wife’s three or four glasses of wine in the evening could be the beginning of alcoholism. Alcoholism runs in her family.
Both Jackie and Kevin were quite surprised to find their partners’ consumption was well above what are considered low-risk drinking levels…
More on How Much Alcohol Is Too Much? The Facts Might Surprise You
Dr. Neill Neill
"My Partner is a Functioning Alcoholic"
Being married to a functioning alcoholic is a big problem. Tens of thousands of families in North America alone are struggling with the issue.
For a minority of people social drinking can gradually deteriorate into alcohol abuse and eventually into alcohol dependence. The drinking could have started in a lot of different ways, but that’s not what’s important. What is important is that the drinking became a habit and the habit became alcohol dependence or alcoholism. It matters not a hoot whether the alcohol is in the form of beer, wine or hard liquor.
More on Alcoholism and Marriage
Filed under Alcoholism and Marriage by Dr. Neill Neill
Dr. Neill Neill
Part Three of the Functioning Alcoholic
There is a third critical factor to bear in mind when questioning the functioning of a so-called "functioning alcoholic." The first factor to consider was whether the alcoholic is functioning generally in life, or just in one aspect of life, like his job. The second factor was whether the alcoholic in achieving his potential and pursuing his dreams, not just getting by.
The third factor has to with how long the "functioning," at whatever level, can last in the presence of alcoholism.
More on Can the Functioning Alcoholic Last?
Dr. Neill Neill
Mary (alias) recently took the Alcoholism Test and then emailed me. (She didn’t leave a public comment because she wanted her communication to be confidential.)
Although a few details are changed or omitted to protect Mary’s privacy, she began with
"I was researching functional alcoholism and came across your site. I took the Alcoholism Test to determine if my husband would be considered a functioning alcoholic. I have not yet spoken with anyone about this, but just researched Al-Anon and plan on attending a meeting…"
Mary goes on to make the following points:
- Married for 19 years.
- Husband a drinker, mostly drinking alone.
- He has been drinking more during the last 5-6 years (now more than two liters/week of hard liquor.)
- He is not abusive and does not miss work.
- He seems to have trouble remembering.
- He just seems out of it at night…
More on Married to a Functioning Alcoholic? Getting Help
Dr. Neill Neill
Is Your Marriage Partner a Functioning Alcoholic?
There are many tests for alcoholism on the internet, so why do we need another one? The simple answer is that most of them aren’t very practical.
Most of the tests for alcoholism are "self-tests" and are therefore aimed at someone who is wondering, "Do I have an alcohol problem?" This may be the wrong person most of the time. Serious problem drinkers probably won’t take the test, because they don’t want to have their suspicions confirmed. The typical functioning alcoholic isn’t interested in questioning his alcohol abuse. And if the signs of alcoholism are more advanced, no test is necessary to recognize the alcoholism.
The Alcoholism Test on this site is designed for anyone who thinks their partner has a drinking problem and perhaps suspects the drinking has progressed to alcoholism.
More on Alcoholism Test for the Alcoholic Marriage
Dr. Neill Neill
I am delighted to see my friend Bill Urell’s latest post on addiction recovery, "7 Great Tips To Help You In Early Drug Addiction Recovery." It would be good to reread Bill’s article right away any time you notice yourself with any of what I call "The Big Four Relapse Warning Signs."
Keep up the good work Bill.
Psychologist Dr. Neill Neill maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He focuses on self growth, healthy relationships and life enhancement after addictions. He is the author of Living with a Functioning Alcoholic - A Woman’s Survival Guide. Get on his list for notification that he has posted a new article and receive his free report, "Addiction and Codependency Simplified."
