The following is an interview I participated in on IdeaMarketers.com for National Recovery Month.

September is National Recovery Month. A month dedicated to the message that recovery from alcohol or drug abuse is possible. There are many people who live with the secret that they have an alcoholic in their family. These same people struggle with questions on what they can do to help their partner and family.

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Jackie asked me how many drinks could her husband have in a day before she should worry. She says he drinks three or four beers in the evening on work nights and a lot more on weekends when he doesn't have to go to work the next day. She thinks he may be a functioning alcoholic.

Kevin worries that his wife's three or four glasses of wine in the evening could be the beginning of alcoholism. Alcoholism runs in her family. 

Both Jackie and Kevin were quite surprised to find their partners' consumption was well above what are considered low-risk drinking levels…

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Being married to a functioning alcoholic is a big problem. Tens of thousands of families in North America alone are struggling with the issue.

For a minority of people social drinking can gradually deteriorate into alcohol abuse and eventually into alcohol dependence. The drinking could have started in a lot of different ways, but that's not what's important. What is important is that the drinking became a habit and the habit became alcohol dependence or alcoholism. It matters not a hoot whether the alcohol is in the form of beer, wine or hard liquor.

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Dr. Neill Neill

Part Three of the Functioning Alcoholic

There is a third critical factor to bear in mind when questioning the functioning of a so-called "functioning alcoholic." The first factor to consider was whether the alcoholic is functioning generally in life, or just in one aspect of life, like his job. The second factor was whether the alcoholic in achieving his potential and pursuing his dreams, not just getting by.

The third factor has to with how long the "functioning," at whatever level, can last in the presence of alcoholism.

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Dr. Neill Neill

Mary (alias) recently took the Alcoholism Test and then emailed me. (She didn't leave a public comment because she wanted her communication to be confidential.)

Although a few details are changed or omitted to protect Mary's privacy, she began with

"I was researching functional alcoholism and came across your site. I took the Alcoholism Test to determine if my husband would be considered a functioning alcoholic. I have not yet spoken with anyone about this, but just researched Al-Anon and plan on attending a meeting…"

Mary goes on to make the following points:

• Married for 19 years.
• Husband a drinker, mostly drinking alone.
• He has been drinking more during the last 5-6 years (now more than two liters/week of hard liquor.)
• He is not abusive and does not miss work.
• He seems to have trouble remembering.
• He just seems out of it at night…

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Dr. Neill Neill
 

Is Your Marriage Partner a Functioning Alcoholic?

There are many tests for alcoholism on the internet, so why do we need another one? The simple answer is that most of them aren't very practical.

Most of the tests for alcoholism are "self-tests" and are therefore aimed at someone who is wondering, "Do I have an alcohol problem?" This may be the wrong person most of the time. Serious problem drinkers probably won't take the test, because they don't want to have their suspicions confirmed. The typical functioning alcoholic isn't interested in questioning his alcohol abuse. And if the signs of alcoholism are more advanced, no test is necessary to recognize the alcoholism.

The Alcoholism Test on this site is designed for anyone who thinks their partner has a drinking problem and perhaps suspects the drinking has progressed to alcoholism.

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Dr. Neill Neill

I am delighted to see my friend Bill Urell's latest post on addiction recovery, "7 Great Tips To Help You In Early Drug Addiction Recovery." It would be good to reread Bill's article right away any time you notice yourself with any of what I call "The Big  Four Relapse Warning Signs."

Keep up the good work Bill.

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist and Diplomate, Comprehensive Energy Psychology, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. His goal is to help you to help yourself to a better life. http://www.neillneill.com

 Dr. Neill Neill 

Daniel emailed me to ask for my thoughts on the question "Can you have an alcohol allergy?" He recalled that I had mentioned I was allergic to alcohol in a talk I gave to a group of alumni of the Sunshine Coast Health Centre in June.

I was a functioning alcoholic when I was younger. But in my mid thirties I began having unexplained physical illness symptoms that eventually got me to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota.

During the prior year I had been hospitalized for a duodenal ulcer and later for a gall bladder attack, neither of which actually existed. I periodically got a sharp pain that ran from my left chest over my shoulder and down my left arm, so they checked me for heart problems. My heart was and is strong. I had periodic severe lower abdominal pain suggesting a hernia; I may have had a phantom hernia, but not a real one. My morning weight varied as much as 7 lbs with no change in activity, diet or alcohol consumption.

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For the past year I have been working as consulting psychologist to an alcohol and drug addiction treatment center for men. This is not my first experience in dealing with addiction; I had earlier worked five years in a coed treatment center. I have worked with a lot of functioning alcoholics and drug addicts in my private practice as well.

Although the reasons for substance abuse and subsequent seeking help for addiction are as varied as any human population can be, there is a pattern of sameness in among those men voluntarily going into rehab.

The seven characteristics presented below relate to what is going on at the point men seek help, not to the years when usage turned to habitual substance abuse and then to addiction. Some of the characteristics, but not all, apply to women as well as men. I have become aware that certain things emerge in a group of men that did not surface when men were in a coed group.

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Awareness is key to building a healthy, meaningful and fulfilling life after rehab. You need to be alert and aware to spot the early warning signs of relapse into addiction and take whatever action is necessary to maintain your recovery. Watch for what I like to call, "The Big Four Relapse Warning Signs."

If any one of them sneaks back into your life, take it as a warning to redouble your resolve to stay the course of your recovery.

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