Jackie asked me how many drinks could her husband have in a day before she should worry. She says he drinks three or four beers in the evening on work nights and a lot more on weekends when he doesn't have to go to work the next day. She thinks he may be a functioning alcoholic.

Kevin worries that his wife's three or four glasses of wine in the evening could be the beginning of alcoholism. Alcoholism runs in her family. 

Both Jackie and Kevin were quite surprised to find their partners' consumption was well above what are considered low-risk drinking levels…

More on How Much Alcohol Is Too Much? The Facts Might Surprise You

Dr. Neill Neill

Part Two of The Functioning Alcoholic

In The Functioning Alcoholic: Part One I argued that doing one’s job is not one’s only function in life. For the alcoholic to consider himself to be "functioning" he has to function in various areas of life, not just on the job.

Abandoned Dreams and Underachievement

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Dr. Neill Neill

I am delighted to see my friend Bill Urell's latest post on addiction recovery, "7 Great Tips To Help You In Early Drug Addiction Recovery." It would be good to reread Bill's article right away any time you notice yourself with any of what I call "The Big  Four Relapse Warning Signs."

Keep up the good work Bill.

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist and Diplomate, Comprehensive Energy Psychology, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. His goal is to help you to help yourself to a better life. http://www.neillneill.com

For the past year I have been working as consulting psychologist to an alcohol and drug addiction treatment center for men. This is not my first experience in dealing with addiction; I had earlier worked five years in a coed treatment center. I have worked with a lot of functioning alcoholics and drug addicts in my private practice as well.

Although the reasons for substance abuse and subsequent seeking help for addiction are as varied as any human population can be, there is a pattern of sameness in among those men voluntarily going into rehab.

The seven characteristics presented below relate to what is going on at the point men seek help, not to the years when usage turned to habitual substance abuse and then to addiction. Some of the characteristics, but not all, apply to women as well as men. I have become aware that certain things emerge in a group of men that did not surface when men were in a coed group.

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Awareness is key to building a healthy, meaningful and fulfilling life after rehab. You need to be alert and aware to spot the early warning signs of relapse into addiction and take whatever action is necessary to maintain your recovery. Watch for what I like to call, "The Big Four Relapse Warning Signs."

If any one of them sneaks back into your life, take it as a warning to redouble your resolve to stay the course of your recovery.

More on After Drug or Alcohol Rehab: Four Relapse Warning Signs

Dr. Neill Neill

My regular readers will know that I write articles on a variety of subjects in practical psychology, including alcoholism.  I have a particular interest in the well-being of families of alcoholics and other addicts. I am such a family member myself.

I came across a new website today called Addiction Recovery Basics by Bill Urell, who works with people recovering from addictions. Check it out. He has good articles on chemical dependency, 12-step, and the depression that so often accompanies substance-abuse and recovery.

I expect that over time our writings will complement each other.

On a personal note, there are a few parallels between us, although I may be a bit longer in the tooth than Bill. Just before Christmas I was honored with a cake for 30 years of sobriety at the alcohol and drug treatment center where I am the consulting psychologist.

Bill says he bought a convertible. I bought a motorcycle last year. (Is this a male thing or a stage-of-life thing?)

Anyway Bill, congratulations on your new internet venture!

Neill

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. Visit http://www.neillneill.com for articles and commentary.

Dr. Neill Neill

In my previous post, Alcoholism: Addiction with a Twist,  I commented on how addiction can lead to addictive or co-dependent relationships. I ended with,

"The benefits to all of overcoming an addiction to the wellbeing of another are far reaching, but as always, the healing process begins with awareness."

Awareness alone doesn't remove the problem, but it may produce a roadmap to wholeness. And with wholeness can come real intimacy.

Codependency is full of opposites

Imagine a husband and wife where the man is addicted to alcohol and the woman is addicted to him and his well-being. She has an intense pull towards her husband. She loses herself in the intensity of the need to care for him.  On the other hand she has a strong need to pull away from him and get a life for herself.

We have all seen it: one of them leaves and comes back, and then leaves again and comes back again. There seems to be no middle ground. It's either total enmeshment or complete cut-off.

More on Alcoholism, Codependency and Intimacy

Dr. Neill Neill

Addiction to a drug like alcohol develops gradually. Drinking alcohol may start out as social fun, or it may from the beginning be a way of escaping pain and difficulty. Sometime I think of it as one of dissociation’s helpers, because alcohol helps a person to split off from reality. But that's an idea for another post.

The point is that people cannot know whether alcohol has become an addiction until they are deprived of it, either through circumstance or through an attempt to quit drinking.

More on Alcoholism: An Addiction with a Twist

More on When Drinking Becomes Alcohol Abuse