The following is an interview I participated in on IdeaMarketers.com for National Recovery Month.

September is National Recovery Month. A month dedicated to the message that recovery from alcohol or drug abuse is possible. There are many people who live with the secret that they have an alcoholic in their family. These same people struggle with questions on what they can do to help their partner and family.

More on National Recovery Month: Is There Help for My Alcoholic Partner?

September, 2008

Thank you for your love and support during the past few months following the death of our son Colin in the spring. I have taken some time to heal and not done much writing or counseling over the summer. If you have been holding off to give me space, thank you.

However, I am getting back into my stride again. I'm writing and taking on new clients. Now is the time to call, while the waiting list is short.

After many requests,  I'm taking on a few life-coaching clients via telephone and internet. I also do telephone counseling with former face-to-face clients who no longer live locally.

Give me a call at (250) 752-8684

Neill

Jackie asked me how many drinks could her husband have in a day before she should worry. She says he drinks three or four beers in the evening on work nights and a lot more on weekends when he doesn't have to go to work the next day. She thinks he may be a functioning alcoholic.

Kevin worries that his wife's three or four glasses of wine in the evening could be the beginning of alcoholism. Alcoholism runs in her family. 

Both Jackie and Kevin were quite surprised to find their partners' consumption was well above what are considered low-risk drinking levels…

More on How Much Alcohol Is Too Much? The Facts Might Surprise You

Being married to a functioning alcoholic is a big problem. Tens of thousands of families in North America alone are struggling with the issue.

For a minority of people social drinking can gradually deteriorate into alcohol abuse and eventually into alcohol dependence. The drinking could have started in a lot of different ways, but that's not what's important. What is important is that the drinking became a habit and the habit became alcohol dependence or alcoholism. It matters not a hoot whether the alcohol is in the form of beer, wine or hard liquor.

More on Alcoholism and Marriage

Dr. Neill Neill

Part Three of the Functioning Alcoholic

There is a third critical factor to bear in mind when questioning the functioning of a so-called "functioning alcoholic." The first factor to consider was whether the alcoholic is functioning generally in life, or just in one aspect of life, like his job. The second factor was whether the alcoholic in achieving his potential and pursuing his dreams, not just getting by.

The third factor has to with how long the "functioning," at whatever level, can last in the presence of alcoholism.

More on Can the Functioning Alcoholic Last?

Dr. Neill Neill

Part Two of The Functioning Alcoholic

In The Functioning Alcoholic: Part One I argued that doing one’s job is not one’s only function in life. For the alcoholic to consider himself to be "functioning" he has to function in various areas of life, not just on the job.

Abandoned Dreams and Underachievement

More on The Functioning Alcoholic and Achievement

Dr. Neill Neill

At this time of year in many communities there are volunteer programs to get people home safely if they've been drinking and shouldn't drive. Their existence is a reminder that Christmas parties, family gatherings, New Year's Eve parties and other celebrations push up the alcohol consumption during the holiday season.

A few of all the people celebrating will already be full-blown alcoholics: they may drink a bit more than their normal level, but generally will blend in with everyone else. After all, they hold jobs, serve on volunteer committees, have families and have friends. These are the so-called "functioning alcoholics."

So what's wrong with being an alcoholic if you can function normally?  

Part One is the first of three discussions of the issue.

More on The Functioning Alcoholic, Part One

Dr. Neill Neill

Mary (alias) recently took the Alcoholism Test and then emailed me. (She didn't leave a public comment because she wanted her communication to be confidential.)

Although a few details are changed or omitted to protect Mary's privacy, she began with

"I was researching functional alcoholism and came across your site. I took the Alcoholism Test to determine if my husband would be considered a functioning alcoholic. I have not yet spoken with anyone about this, but just researched Al-Anon and plan on attending a meeting…"

Mary goes on to make the following points:

• Married for 19 years.
• Husband a drinker, mostly drinking alone.
• He has been drinking more during the last 5-6 years (now more than two liters/week of hard liquor.)
• He is not abusive and does not miss work.
• He seems to have trouble remembering.
• He just seems out of it at night…

More on Married to a Functioning Alcoholic? Getting Help

Dr. Neill Neill
 

Is Your Marriage Partner a Functioning Alcoholic?

There are many tests for alcoholism on the internet, so why do we need another one? The simple answer is that most of them aren't very practical.

Most of the tests for alcoholism are "self-tests" and are therefore aimed at someone who is wondering, "Do I have an alcohol problem?" This may be the wrong person most of the time. Serious problem drinkers probably won't take the test, because they don't want to have their suspicions confirmed. The typical functioning alcoholic isn't interested in questioning his alcohol abuse. And if the signs of alcoholism are more advanced, no test is necessary to recognize the alcoholism.

The Alcoholism Test on this site is designed for anyone who thinks their partner has a drinking problem and perhaps suspects the drinking has progressed to alcoholism.

More on Alcoholism Test for the Alcoholic Marriage

Dr. Neill Neill

I am delighted to see my friend Bill Urell's latest post on addiction recovery, "7 Great Tips To Help You In Early Drug Addiction Recovery." It would be good to reread Bill's article right away any time you notice yourself with any of what I call "The Big  Four Relapse Warning Signs."

Keep up the good work Bill.

Dr. Neill Neill, Registered Psychologist and Diplomate, Comprehensive Energy Psychology, maintains an active psychology and life-coaching practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He is a member of the treatment team at Sunshine Coast Health Centre, an alcohol and drug treatment center for men. His goal is to help you to help yourself to a better life. http://www.neillneill.com